TRANNIES 123

Bill Corbett - "Hey, look you guys, some stuff."

Recently re-watched Transformers 1 - after listening to the Experts & Intermediates podcast thoroughly dismantle a select few Michael Bay films. They came down pretty hard on it and surprisingly chose Pearl Harbor as the best of his flicks (while still hating on it). 

This was maybe the third/fourth time I've seen T1 - most times with the mocking audio commentary by the guys at Rifftrax ON, which I find the best option. The script & dialog are so idiotic I need the comedic element to enjoy the splendid visuals (even Armond White may be right: Bay is a film artist - though he disliked the final entry in this series ). The more times seen, the less confusing it becomes, esp. during the fight scenes. The hyper pro-military/technology angle throws me, as it does in some Cameron films (Aliens/Avatar). Even when the government are meant to be viewed, in part, as the "bad guys," their weaponry is always pornographically displayed - a distinct "might is right" theme always comes through. But the forced comedy elements (the parents, the dog, painfully obvious product placement, and John Turturro's entire performance) continue to bother me, helpfully leavened by Mike, Bill, & Kevin deconstructing the film as I watch it.  A strange mixture of joy and hatred for me.

T2 features even more buffoonery w/ dosed parents, dogs humping, nasal probes, plus college campus nonsense. The shapeshifting female hottie is the worst. No, Shia's male roommate Leo is. Negro-bots Mudflap & Skids got a lot of criticism (but being voiced by Tom Kenny, get a pass for him being a Mr.Show/Spongebob alum). But robots with beards, balls, and bad accents, not so much. Here, MK&B make a lot out of "no no no" and "move move move:" 

By hour 1:10 I'm looking at the time wondering how much longer this movie goes on… and its only halfway through. At the end I was relieved it was over and mostly amused by what I'd seen, helped immensely by the wisecracking. Couldn't have have done it w/o the RT crew. Pyramid stuff in Egypt was too profoundly silly to ever take seriously.

Megan Fox's absence in the third film was a non-issue as her replacement at least had a definite character to play: hot, young professional woman who strived to better her boyfriend. The action sequences in this Summer's T3 were stupendous in 3D but the plot was just as preposterous: Decepticons transporting an entire planet into Earth's vicinity. After a spectacular battle in Chicago, the good guys win (SPOILERS?). Looking forward to another Rifftrax commentary for this final entry in the Transformers "trilogy:" i.e. three attempts at the same god-damn thing. Redonkulous.